I ran through the streets of the town where I lived, crying. I developed severe paranoia in my apartment and, again, thought that I was being watched. I bled for hours and had to tell people I tripped down the stairs and fell on my face, because my entire chin was a bloody scab for weeks. I stood in front of my mirror for six to eight hours digging a hole into my chin because I thought something was hidden in there. I couldn't write anything, and I could barely form a regular sentence, let alone an academic one. The second episode occured during my junior year, while preparing for finals. I was offered a medical leave after my first three weeks of school. I thought I was figuring out the secrets of the universe. During my first experience, I forgot about other people. The experiences have been slightly different each time, but each one was memorable, to say the least.Įach episode I’ve experienced has been slightly different, though. But I’ve had four major psychotic episodes in my life, and the most recent one was just a few months ago. My first experience with psychosis was during my freshman year of college. However, after 10 years in the mental health care system, the diagnoses that most accurately describe my lived experiences are autism, ADHD, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and major depressive disorder, prone to symptoms of hypomania and psychosis. Some have argued over whether I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and eating disorders. Different doctors have had conflicting opinions at various stages of my life. Over the years, I have been diagnosed with a slew of different mental illnesses. This is one narrative and will not necessarily describe each person's reality of psychosis. Remember: Everyone’s experience with psychosis is different. And people who have experienced a psychotic episode once are at an increased risk of having it again, so it’s important to seek treatment (often a combination of psychotherapy interventions and medication, per NAMI), quickly and early. Exactly how psychosis manifests can vary from person to person, but in general, people will often see, hear, or feel things that aren’t there, according to NAMI. Psychosis usually comes on slowly and can cause non-specific changes in a way a person thinks and how they perceive things, NAMI explains. will experience psychosis at some point in life, per the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Approximately 3 percent of people in the U.S. Psychosis is not a disorder in and of itself, but rather a symptom that can arise due to a variety of factors, including genetics, trauma, substance abuse, physical illness or injury, or mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or depression, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
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